Hey Dr Sue — Why Don’t Girls Say What They Want?

Here’s the short answer — they’re taught not to.

Women are taught that being forthright and asking for what they want makes them a bitch, and that they should sit back and let others make decisions.

Women are taught to go along to get along, and that way of thinking doesn’t leave space for giving voice to what they want.

Now let me back this up a little bit, because I’m sure some people are getting a little frustrated with what I’m saying. This idea that women should be silent, that they’re taught not to speak loudly and ask for what they want, well it isn’t true for all women. Really I should say that some women are taught that.

And some women are taught that they should use their voice, and they should unashamedly ask for what they want.

So much of what we learn about communication is based off of our gender, and the rules and roles that society assigns to that gender. In this country, we tend to teach women that they should be silent and not make waves. That they should be submissive.

Sound old fashioned, like it comes straight out of the 1950’s and not something we teach girls and women in the 21st century? In my college classes I ask people to identify what they’re expected to do and how they’re expected to act, based on their…