Hey Dr Sue — What Would Happen If Everyone Was Monogamous?

My smart ass answer is that a lot of people would be bored!

But let me give you a real answer. For a long time we promoted this idea that monogamy was the goal. That is the thing we should all be seeking in our romantic relationships. Even today many parts of society still push this as the ideal. It’s also what we tend to see represented in media.

In terms of relationship and sexual satisfaction, some people would be wonderfully happy if everyone were monogamous.

But not everyone. Not everyone desires a monogamous relationship. And not everyone’s emotional and sexual needs are fulfilled by a monogamous relationship. This is one of the many reasons why people cheat.

The fact that monogamy doesn’t always fulfill all of our needs is one of the reasons why we’re seeing an increase in people who report being non-monogamous. I know that I hear college students talking about this more openly now than I ever have in the past. And research indicates that around 20–25% of couples report that they are non-monogamous.

From a sexual health perspective this wouldn’t mean the end of STIs which is what a lot of people assume would happen. Some infections happen because of non-sex reasons. Let’s use yeast infections as an example. They can be caused by lots of…