Hey Dr Sue — What Do I Do If My Body Count Is Too High?

Let me start by apologizing to whoever submitted this question, since I’ve been sitting on it for a while. And the reason for that is because I really struggle with the phrase body count.

I’ve seen some people used it proudly as a marker of their sexual conquests, and other people flinch when they use it and that bothers me.

There’s really nothing you can do to lower your body count. I mean you could change the criteria you use for it, like if you didn’t really enjoy it maybe don’t count it.

But that doesn’t actually change how many people you’ve been with.

The thing that gets me about this question is this idea of “too high.” Who’s to say what a “normal” body count is, let alone a high one?

What’s considered an “acceptable” number of partners will differ based on so many variables — like a person’s age for starters. A 16 year old saying they’ve had one sexual partner will be looked at differently than someone saying that when they’re in their 40's.

Other things will also impact what’s considered “acceptable” for number of sex partners, like what country the person lives in, whether or not they’re currently enrolled in college, being in the middle of a pandemic…. seriously it can be a really long list of things.