Hey Dr Sue — What Can A Person Do When She Can’t Enjoy (Orgasm) Sex With Her Partner (Husband)?

This is one of those times that I really wish I could ask a follow up question!

Because what I really want to ask is, is it just about the lack of an orgasm, or is there truly no enjoyment?

In this country, when it comes to sex, we tend to equate orgasms with pleasure. And that’s a problem, because the two don’t always go together.

Some people can really enjoy what they’re doing with a partner, and never orgasm. Other people can orgasm, but may not really find the whole experience enjoyable.

If there is truly no enjoyment, then I think it’s time to have a couple of conversations. The first is between the woman and herself. She has to ask herself if there was a time that she ever enjoyed sex with her husband. If she did enjoy it before, but now she doesn’t, she has to ask herself what’s changed. And probably one of the harder questions to think about — is this a sex issue or a bigger relationship issue?

For some people it’s really hard to get turned on when they’re angry at their partner, or frustrated with their relationship, and trying to pretend that things are okay may lead to less than enjoyable sex.