Hey Dr Sue — My Body Count Bothers Me

This week’s question isn’t really a question. But I wanted to make sure I addressed because this isn’t the first time I’ve gotten something like this either at a live event or through my website.

When I bring this kind of thing up in class my students usually say the answer is to just lie about your number.

The problem is that that’s not really an answer. Lying about it doesn’t really change it, and more importantly it doesn’t change how you feel about it.

The problem I’m having trying to come up with an answer is that I don’t know if the person is bothered because it’s too low, or too high

So let me give some suggestions for both situations.

Body count is “too high”

If you’re bothered by your body count being too high, ask yourself why you think it’s “too high.” Is it too high compared to others? While I could give you some numbers on what the average number of sexual partners is based on age and gender, those numbers aren’t always so accurate for many reasons.

Not everyone defines sexual partner the same way. For some it’s how many people you’ve had penile-vaginal intercourse with. But what about oral sex? Anal sex? I’ve had some pretty religious students in my class who say that when they kiss someone, they…