Hey Dr Sue — Is The Female Orgasm Science Fiction?

No, it’s not science fiction — it’s real!

But, and this is a big but, not all women orgasm.

Men are way more likely to have an orgasm when having sex with a woman (when I say sex in this post, I mean penile-vaginal intercourse). One study found that men orgasm about 95% of the time when they have sex with a woman, while women only orgasm 65% of the time.

Why the difference? A lot of it is based on anatomy.

Women aren’t really designed to orgasm from penetration. They’re way more likely or orgasm when the clitoris is stimulated. This can be either by itself or during sex.

If you’re a woman and you’re not having an orgasm here are a few suggestions. First, figure out what feels good to you. So often women are told that masturbating is “dirty” or “wrong” and so they don’t do it. But masturbation is a great way of figuring out what you like and what you don’t like. Do you like direct clitoris stimulation or is that too much?

Vibrators and other sex toys can be great at helping you learn what you like in terms of speed and pressure.

Once you figure out what you like, tell your partner. Or better yet show them!