Hey Dr Sue — Is It Possible To Have A Sexual Relationship With A Partner Who Has Genital Herpes And Not Contract It?

There’s a lot here so let’s start with some basics about herpes and then I’ll get into your question.

There are actually over 100 herpesviruses. These include the ones that cause chickenpox and Epstein-Barr. What you’re asking about is technically referred to as Herpes Simplex Virus or HSV.

There are two types of HSV, type 1 and type 2. We used to associate these types with different parts of the body. Type 1 was often associated with the mouth area and showed up as cold sores, and type 2 was associated with the genitals and caused genital sores. Now we don’t focus so much on type as we do on where it is and what the outbreaks looks like.

It is possible to have a sexual relationship with someone who has genital herpes and there are things you can do to cut down on the risk of you getting it, but the risk is never entirely zero.

The risk is highest during an outbreak, which is why we suggest no sexual activity during an outbreak. But there’s this thing called viral shedding, which is when the virus can still be spread, even if there’s no outbreak. Because of this, I would suggest always using a barrier during intercourse, either an external or internal condom.

If you’re engaging in oral sex, then you should also use a barrier. If you’re going down on her then I would suggest…