Hey Dr Sue — I Can’t Really Orgasm. I Can On My Own, But Just Not With Someone Else. Is There Something Wrong With Me?

I shortened the original down to a more workable size (damn character limits), but I think its important people get to see the whole question:

Hi Dr. Sue, I have a weird issue. I can’t really orgasm. I can on my own by myself, but just not with someone else, even if it feels amazing. I put a lot of pressure on myself, especially when I’m having sex with my boyfriend because I don’t want to make him feel bad and I also feel like if I do orgasm, it’ll make the sex with us that much better. But I can’t. And it makes having sex not as fun because I am so focused on just trying to orgasm that I often feel defeated after and worry that my boyfriend will resent having sex with me even though he’s made it so clear that he would never and still enjoys when we hook up. I want to orgasm with him so badly to increase our chemistry but I just never do and I don’t know why. Is there something wrong with me? And how do I stop putting so much pressure on myself?

So there’s good news here. And that is that from what you’ve said, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with you.

But obviously something is going on. I get your sense of frustration, it reads loud and clear. And I don’t know if this helps you, but…