Hey Dr Sue — I Am Not Able To Cum … And I Want To Enjoy Sex With My Partner. How Could This Be Possible?

I really appreciate this question. I know it may not have been easy to write all that. Not being able to cum with a partner, no matter your gender, can be really frustrating. I’m going to focus on men for this answer. If you want to know more about female ejaculation, just ask!

There are a few reasons why men can find it hard to ejaculate.

As often happens with these kinds of questions, I wish I could ask follow up questions. But since I can’t I’ll do the best I can.

My first question I would ask is, has this always been a thing, or is it recent?

If it’s a relatively new thing, has there been something new in your life? Maybe a new medication? Do you drink alcohol or use other drugs, or maybe use more than used to? All of these things have the potential to impact the timing of when you ejaculate.

Is there anything new going on with your body? Maybe a new illness or injury you’re dealing with. If so, you might want to mention to your health care provider that you’re having this issue, as it may be related.

Are you under a lot more stress outside the bedroom than normal? Are you anxious about anything? Depressed?

I know it may seem like things like stress and anxiety shouldn’t impact sexual functioning, but trust me, they can. So if any of these things are happening, you might want to address them. It’ll help both your mental health and your sex life.