Hey Dr Sue — How Would You Define Sex Vs. ‘Making Love’?

I have to admit I don’t usually answer questions that ask my opinion. But this actually comes up at live events more often than you might think.

So let me own that these are my thoughts on this.

For me, this really comes down to the level and type of connection. I think that when people have sex they’re engaging in a physical act. And that might be all there is to it.

When people “make love” they may still be engaging in physical acts, but the focus is more about connecting with a partner on a deeper level.

But this is different for different people. So let me share some of what I’ve heard others say about the difference between “making love” and having sex.

I’ve heard people say that making love is about specific sex acts or sex positions. That if you’re really “making love” than you have to be face to face. I often hear this referring to men and women making love, so think missionary position or woman on top.

But making love is often about a deep connection, and that can be achieved in many different positions.

And depending on the body parts involved, some of those positions might not be possible for a couple. After all, couples of all gender combinations can make love.