Hey Dr Sue — How Many Times Should A Couple Have Sex Each Week?

Here’s the thing about sex and sex play, there is no “should” when it comes to frequency. People want different things — some people want to engage in sex play every day, others are cool with once every two weeks.

Want numbers on how often people are doing it? Yeah, me too. Here’s the thing, when we study sex we don’t always specify what that word “sex” means. Does it mean intercourse? Does it mean oral? Anal? If you make your partner orgasm 5 times with hands and/or sex toys, does that count as “sex?”

If you want actual numbers, here’s what I can tell you. Studies show that there’s no real difference in frequency of “sex” between people who are dating, married or living together. No matter the specific type of relationship, it averages out to just about once a week.

The way I look at it, its less about how often and more about whether or not you’re happy with the frequency (and quality) of sex in your relationship. You and your partner have sex play once a month but it’s a marathon session that leaves you both exhausted and happy, then great! You have sex with your partner daily but it’s not quite fulfilling, then that’s a problem.

I have homework for you- ask yourself this, are you happy with your sex life?