Hey Dr Sue — Why Are Fewer People Getting Married And Having Children?

Let’s separate out those two ideas, since you don’t have to be married to have kids.

There’s also a difference between being in a committed relationship and not being married, and not being in a relationship at all. I’m going to focus on why people are choosing to be in a committed relationship but not get married. If you want me to talk about why people are choosing not to be in relationships, feel free to ask a question about that here

I’ll talk about general reasons why we see the shift away from marriage. But keep in mind that every person has their own reason for deciding what type of relationship works for them.

One of the reasons people are choosing to be in committed relationship and not get married, is to maintain a degree of independence. When you get married, that’s a legal contract. And for some people, they want to be able to be in a committed relationship without tying themselves legally to their partner.

Another reason is that people may have witnessed how bitter divorce could be when they were growing up. And they don’t necessarily want to go through that themselves. I’m not saying a break up isn’t miserable. But breaking up with someone and going your separate ways is different when you have to go through a legal process to dissolve the relationship.

Not being married is just more acceptable now than it was before. While there are definitely parts of society that still try to convince us that marriage is the goal, there are more people choosing not to do it. The more that happens, the greater the social acceptance of it.

Women’s rights in the US are also a reason why more women are choosing not to get married. It used to be that financial independence wasn’t really an option for women. They needed a husband in order to get by financially. It’s only been in the last 60 years that women could own their own home. And have a credit card in their name. And a bank account.

And women today can get jobs they couldn’t get before. So the financial stability that they used to need a husband for, they can now achieve on their own.

(Fun fact I came across while doing some reading, more single women own homes in the US than…